


Prayers to the Fallen

by CastielLover20



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-05
Updated: 2018-06-05
Packaged: 2019-05-18 15:48:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14855636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CastielLover20/pseuds/CastielLover20
Summary: After Lucifer killing Castiel (12x23) Dean can’t accept the fact that Castiel is dead and he keeps trying to get in contact with him and force him to return to his body.





	Prayers to the Fallen

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Mile9213](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mile9213/gifts).



> Request from Tumblr: @mile9213 For my 3,000 (+96) follower thanksgiving. Sorry, I didn’t write what you actually wanted…

_**DAY 1** _

Dean was standing in front of Castiel’s dead body. Silence. Sam went to check on Jack. Dean looked down at his dead friend. Tears to his face. He kneed in front of him and held his body close to his chest. “Cas…” A piece of him died with the angel. His angel. He didn’t give a fuck for Sam, for Jack, for Lucifer or even his mother. Nothing could bring his angel back. He looked to the sky. No. He couldn’t be dead. A small fake smile appeared on his face. His friend wasn’t dead. He couldn’t be dead. He closed his eyes, he swept his tears and started whispering.  

_“Cas… Hey buddy… I know you are here… I know you aren’t dead… Can you come back to your vessel? Lucifer is gone. He won’t hurt you again. This son of the bitch won’t hurt you again, not as long as I am alive… I… I love you, buddy… You can’t leave me here alone… You can’t!”_ He screamed. _“Cas, don’t play with me, I know you are alive… I know you’ll be back… If you are scared, Lucifer is gone, he won’t hurt you… I am here to protect you for one damn time. You did it so many times, let me protect you too. Please… Come back to your body…”_ He broke down and hugged him crying. _“Please come back again… I can’t live without you…"  
_

_**DAY 3** _

Dean was standing in Castiel’s room, sitting in a chair, next to the bed, with the dead body onto it. Dean stared at the ceiling again, trying to fake a smile again. 

_“Hey, buddy… Can you hear me? Got your ears on? FYI, I am waiting… For the time you feel ready. Jack needs you Cas. He needs his father… Yeah, he calls you like that… He is doing good with Sam. They are good together and he seems like a good boy. Like you thought. He is good. But I am not. I fight with them the whole time because I miss you. So you will be back… Now!”_ Dean yelled and stood up, punching the wall. _“You said you won’t leave me, dammit!” What should I do, you fucker!“_ Dean sat again, holding his head. _"You come back soon, I’ll wait, I have my hopes on you, so don’t fail me! Your body will stay here. Wings or not, you’ll return here to me…"_

 

_**DAY 7** _

Dean was sitting again in the same spot, in Cas’s room. The room had an awful atmosphere and Cas’s body was green, smelling awful and now Dean started realizing how fragile and close to decomposition Castiel’s body was, something that could make Dean freak out. He didn’t want to know how the body would be in a few days if it already seemed like melting. Dean buried his face in his palms and kept crying. His eyes were red and puffy. He had another fight with Sam about burning the angel’s body. Dean sat on the bed and laid next to Cas, in the small space in the bed. His hand was on the angel’s hair, messing with them, trying not to break down again. He had almost lost any hope. He couldn’t be next to his ‘brother’s’ dead body, enduring the awful smell and the way Cas looked next to him. He swallowed.  

_"Cas, I need you here… Sam said again to burn your body… Because… Be-Because you are rotting… I won’t burn you, I know you need your body to come back to me. I know you are bond with it, the vessel I met you, the face I fell in love with. The body that saved me from the hell, angels, demons, even myself… Come to save me again Cas… I am losing hope… Cas, come to save me from the pain of losing you… I need you back. I need to see your eyes again, I need to see these sparkling eyes that read my soul, every single time. I need to hear your voice, saying this sweet ‘Hello Dean’ ”_ he chuckled between his sobs. _“I need to feel your arm to my shoulder, comforting me. Like that time when we first met, and you took me to the past, when mom made the deal. Even then you had feelings. Even then, that you were that son of a bitch, that stupid soldier… Even then I loved you… Even then Cas… Don’t force me to live a life without you… Don’t do this to me… I think… I think I am losing my mind Cas… Come back to me… Please…"_

 

_**DAY 9** _

Dean was standing in front of Castiel’s body, covered in a loin white fabric.  

That day, Dean got into the room, to find it in a really bad situation. Jack tried to heal it, but he didn’t make it. So, the once untouched body was a total smelling and melting mess. Jack cried as hard as he could as Dean came in, freaking out and screaming in pain. Hopefully, Sam pulled them both out of the room and with no second thought, he prepared the body to get burn. Dean couldn’t stand to see what left from Cas and neither Jack. So Sam had to take the situation to his hands. No matter how much it hurt him. So later, he left Dean alone, to say whatever he wanted to say for last time.  

Dean didn’t dare to look under the fabric. He kept crying in front of him, feeling like his breath would stop at any moment.  

_"I am sorry for doing this buddy… But this is your fault… Your fault… You are late… You! I don’t know what else to do… Sam is right… It’s sick keeping you here like that… In that meat suit… I won’t let you go… I will let your body, but not you my love… Not you… I’ll keep praying… Praying is a sign of faith, you said once… I have faith on you… I have faith that you’ll find a way to come back to me, no matter what… I have faith that I’ll still love you, in any body… In any form, in any place, heaven, hell, purgatory, we’ll meet again buddy… I’ll wait for it… I’ll damn wait for it… Just… Try not to make it too long, alright? I have faith in you… I love you… You are all I have… Don’t fail me, alright? I know you can’t”_ Dean smiled fairly and kept crying. _“I have faith Cas, for once I have faith in you… Don’t let me down. I love you”_ he smiled before pulling back and letting Sam to open the lighter.  

**—**

_**Back to the Empty** _

Castiel was curled up, crying, his broken wings around him, trying to hide from the black form in front of him, that kept screaming to his head to go back to sleep. Castiel was terrified, he was a crying mess and his eyes lit up when he felt his human body being burned. He heard Dean’s prayer (including all the previous) and the only thing he wished was that Dean, had kept something from him, so he could keep hearing him. So he could keep hearing every future prayer and keep being awake. Dean’s prayers woke Castiel and the hope for the next ones was the only thing that kept Castiel awake. So he only wished for more chances to fight his damn fears and come back. This was the only courage Castiel could have. Hearing Dean’s prayers, hearing that his man believed in him so he could finally believe to himself too and come back. 


End file.
